Feeling Powerless in Life?

 Are you feeling powerless over the world around you? More bad news seems to come every day. The entire landscape of our world has changed. And it is easy to find evidence to defend our powerlessness in life.  What if I told you there is a way for you to find your power, and begin to feel some sense of ease with yourself and your world again?

I’m going to tell you how a found my power in a powerless situation. The things I realized have set me free. During this time of great change, the insights I need to navigate my world seem to just show up. If this is happening for me it can happen for you too

Ok so .. How DO you gain control of the things you fear the most?  The answer is You don’t. that’s right! You actually have no control over people, places, or things. Lets dive into what this really means so that you can see where your true power lies.

Has someone ever said something to you that you just could not get over? Something that you played over and over in your mind for weeks?  Who do you think was responsible for the way you felt?  Who was the cause? Who is to Blame? Do all of the people around you need to be accepting of you in order for you to feel ok?

Lets say someone holds the door for you as you are going into a building?  Did they do so to be polite? Did they do so because they thought you could not open the door yourself? OR lets say they don’t hold the door for you and let it slam in your face. Did they do so on purpose?

If I interpret the slamming of a door in my face as rude, does that make it so? We have devolved into a culture that makes wild assumptions about the thoughts in the minds of others.  Do you believe yourself to be a person who knows precisely what others are thinking?  If I believe that another person must behave in a certain way in order for me to feel healthy, happy, secure, included or successful then what has really happened here? I have given ALL of my power away.

In 2015 my husband was in an accident that lead to him being charged with a serious crime. This all played out in a very public way and I felt either pity or judgement from people I had thought of as friends. I thought I knew exactly what they were thinking about me and my situation, which had changed literally overnight.  Was I right about what they were thinking? 

Here is the key that set me free.  It is NONE of my business what others are thinking about me.  That’s right I decided to start minding my own busines and it has set me free.

If you spend your moments on this planet alive as a human in this body obsessed with the thoughts and actions of others, then you will have wasted valuable time that you can NEVER get back.

" A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.. "  Melody Beattie  Demanding that others tend to our emotions, or have certain responses to us, when we ourselves are unwilling to pay attention to the way we feel is unrealistic and ….  ( that’s right ) codependent.

I realized during the trying times that unfolded in my life, that I am responsible for my own wellbeing. There is no power in making others responsible for the way I feel. I have influence over the way I feel and how I choose to react to the way I feel.  This is where true power lies.

The addiction to pain I think has been best described by Eckhart Tolle He explains this as a pain body that lives within each of us. This part of our ego is looking for more painful interactions with others who have similar pain bodies to feed. The law of attraction will lead us right into these situations. This kind of addiction to pain can blow up your life, which is what I experienced in 2015.

The thoughts you are thinking about the thoughts others are thinking will wreak havoc in your life. Don’t be tempted to believe your own story.  Its time to re-write that story … To do so you will need your emotions too put your life back on track. Why? because it matters how you feel. That’s how you are creating your own reality. Attempting to micro manage the reactions that others have to you, is creating nothing but conflict and pain. 

If you are telling yourself no one cares about how I feel. You might be right. Why should it matter to anyone else how you feel, if it does not matter to you?  Start to care about how you feel. Start to notice how you feel. Only then can you start to influence how you feel. It takes effort to keeping thinking about the things that make you feel bad. Get out of your own way by letting your mind wander to things that feel good when you think about them… it can be anything!

When I started to care more about the way I felt than anything else, my life continued to get better and better. And if you find ways to let your cork bob to the surface each day your life will start to change,  and the way people respond to you will change with it. Here are some links to playlists that expand more on these ideas. Thanks for watching!